How Vietnamese International Schools Are Failing Millennial Teens

The tension between the traditional attitudes of Asian parents and the reality faced by today’s Asian teens has always been a tightrope international schools in the region have had to walk – and never more so than now.

Now there is a real and widening generation gap on a huge range of issues, from smoking, drinking, underage sex, teen pregnancy, LGBT students, teen relationships, porn-watching and the Internet.

Here in Vietnam, a country I have called home for the best part of 17 years, my job as an English teacher puts me on the frontline in the battle between the generations that is currently being waged in homes and schools across Southeast Asia.

Middle-class Asian parents, brought up during the austerities of post-Cold War poverty, have worked hard to give their children a better life. Convinced by traditional Confucian ideas on the importance of education, they have encouraged their children to study hard, take extra classes, complete mounds of homework and get good grades, while equipping them with iPhones, laptops and all the latest mod cons, in an effort to give their children what they themselves could never have or afford when they were younger.

However, all this comes at a cost. Long hours spent running businesses selling knocked-off Chinese-made T-shirts in sweatshop premises located on busy streets seething with motorbike traffic has led to today’s modern Vietnamese teens being brought up by the rented housekeeper, who cooks and cleans for them while Mum and Dad are out earning money.

So while middle-class parents can now afford to send their kids to mid-budget “international” schools that offer a mix of the Vietnamese National Curriculum and a hastily slapped-together, devoid-of-all-credit-points English program of English, Maths and Science taught by expat foreign teachers, their children have grown up surrounded by modern millennial attitudes towards issues that would have been shocking in their parents’ day.

Allowed out in the evening with no adult supervision, alone in dealing with the stresses of upcoming exams, these teens are now frequenting shisha lounges, smoking weed, indulging in casual, no-strings-attached underage sex, getting pregnant at weekend parties at friends’ houses, watching Mia Khalifa on Pornhub and drinking vodka Cruisers during homework time, among more normal things, such as listening to K-Pop, learning to dance hip-hop and playing basketball.

What have these international schools done about this? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. On a quest to gain accreditation with international bodies such as the Council for International Schools (CIS), there has been a tightening-up of school rules, where students are punished more often for minor infractions, while, at the same time, schools endeavour to look the best they can externally, making cosmetic changes to curriculum design by putting foreign teachers into “head of subject” positions without any increase in remuneration and an expectation to put in more and more hours of free time in a drive to attain “international standards”.

However, more serious for the students is the way the schools ride roughshod over the individual rights of teens. Schools in this budget range are way more expensive than Vietnamese state schools, while at the same time being far lower in quality than the ultra-exclusive, “American high school in Vietnam” experience offered by IB World Schools to the Vietnamese super-rich, where a year’s tuition runs upwards of $20,000 per annum. Such mid-market schools as the one I worked in are terrified of modern teen issues, gossip and scandal, as these risk alienating the existing customer base of older-generation Vietnamese parents. Internal scenes of occasionally unruly classrooms lead to student mobile phones being snatched away by Vietnamese teaching staff, “officially” because carrying mobile phones to school is against the rules but actually because the school is terrified that the students will upload the photos to Facebook for parents and the whole world to see.

Perhaps the most serious threat yet to student safety in the school where I worked came in January 2016, when, after one schoolboy attempted suicide the month prior after splitting up with his girlfriend, the school announced to students that from now on, all their Facebook accounts will be stalked and if there is any sign that they have boyfriends or girlfriends, the school will telephone their parents, claiming that their grades are suffering. This has since led to a number of students receiving physical and verbal abuse from parents. Of particular concern is the student LGBT community, since such a policy is likely to force LGBT students to “come out” to their parents before they are ready, possibly putting them at risk of serious domestic violence and abuse.

Tension is nearing breaking point as the traditions of the older generation come face-to-face with a new generation who have no major hang-ups on casual sex, Internet dating, porn-viewing, recreational substance use and hanging out with their LGBT friends in the classroom.

SO WHAT’S THE ANSWER? As a teacher on the front line, a life coach and qualified youth counsellor, my contribution is in giving timely and sometimes straight-down-the-line accurate advice on teen self-esteem, personal development, health, wealth, sex, dating and relationships, while at the same time advocating and supporting my teens in every way I can, sometimes in the face of hostile reactions from school management and other teaching staff.

I NOW HAVE A PLAN to establish an afterschool activity centre close to the school where I worked, where my teens can learn life skills and the knowledge they need to turn their lives around, give up their more negative habits and choose new ones that lead them to taking the necessary steps to lead the life they have always wanted and achieve their personal goals. Based on the American 4-H youth organisation but “Vietnamized” and more focused on personal development and learning marketable skills that will be valuable in the online marketplace in the future, my vision is to create a values-driven and exciting centre of informal education that allows my teens to believe in themselves and make their dreams come true.

To do this, I intend to crowdfund the setting-up of the centre via the IndieGogo crowdfunding platform but to do that, I need a crowd of fans, followers and supporters willing to donate. To that end, I have become an author and I will soon publish my first novel about the issues my teen face. The novel is called “Shisha Girl” and the book cover is the picture at the top of this article. Published soon as a serial on Wattpad and as a print book and Kindle on Amazon, I hope the book will give me the fans I need to run a successful IndieGogo campaign.

Check out the Slideshare presentation below for a brief overview of my work to improve the lives of my teens. It’s time to make a difference. It’s time to change things around, to shake things up and start something new. Let’s have a new generation of young Asian millennials who embrace the realities of life in the 21st. Century, while giving them the inspiration and courage they need to achieve levels of success their parents could only dream of. LET’S START NOW!

Surprising Details About The History Of Dating

Everything in this world has a history, including dating, no matter how surprising this may seem. If you’re using an online dating app in India, or in any other country, you may be interested to find out how dating appeared. What made people create this social ritual in order for them to meet and court each other, with the purpose of starting a relationship and even a family? Moira Weigel is a writer that decided to find out everything she could about dating and how it became a part of our lives and culture. She even wrote a book called Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating where she published her findings. Still, let us take a look at some of the most surprising details about the history of dating, which may make the use of an online dating service in India even more interesting.

How did dating look in its beginnings?

The word dating was used for the first time somewhere in the 1890s, this particular activity appearing rather suspicious to many people, who didn’t know what to make of it. In fact, there was a generalized rumor that dating was a form of prostitution, as people couldn’t figure out what two people, who weren’t married, are doing all by themselves. Women were even arrested for going on dates, so it had a rather rough start, like everything else. If we are to compare ancient dating with modern dating, these two do have something in common. Dating back then was as difficult as it is today. Anxiety was very present, as people were constantly afraid that their date won’t like them, and parents were always worried that their children are not doing it right or meeting the right people. All these aspects did not change over years.

Society and the role of marriage have changed, but dating remained the same

The appearance of dating apps did not change dating, only the means that help you reach a date. Society, on the other hand, changed, so you won’t get arrested these days for going on a date, blaming at the same time the wide use of technology when it comes to human relationships and interactions. The role of marriage changed as well, as women don’t have to chase men in order to get married and have children as soon as possible, marriage today being more a form of collaboration between two people that decided that they are better off together, rather than apart. But, no matter how easy everything looks when using the best dating app in India, everything happens in the same manner as it used to centuries ago when it comes to real life dating. People are afraid of saying or doing something stupid, they are nervous about how things will evolve during the date, and avoid expressing their feelings because they are scared not to make a fool out of themselves. There is also a generalized idea that men want to have sex while women are looking for affection and romantic connections and there is pressure from media when it comes to singles or stories that create a pessimistic aura around love.

If you really wish to find the ideal partner, just be yourself, do things the way you feel and at your own pace, don’t panic if you’re still single even if you in your 30s, and don’t be afraid to express your feelings, because this will help you know whether your date is the right person or not.

Some Of The Most Awkward Moments You May Experience When Dating On Online Dating Mobile App

Did you get a date by using an Online Dating Mobile App? That’s great news and you’re probably excited to experience your first moments together. Well, no matter how hard we prepare for it, there are always those awkward moments that occur when we least expect. But, once you know what those moments are, they will stop being so awkward. Not to mention that once you are aware that they may happen and will know how to handle them, they will stop being so awkward in the end. So, you may want to take a look below at some of the most awkward moments you can experience when dating someone.

Right from the start you realize that you’re not interested, but your date is already making future plans

The online dating service in India you used may have got you a date, but that doesn’t mean that you have to like it. The person may be interesting while you text each other, turning out not to be the person you’ve been looking for once you meet in real life. Things get even weirder when you see that your date starts making future plans while you definitely agree with yourself on the fact that you two don’t match. To avoid making the date even worse, be diplomatic in avoiding a direct answer to a question that involves future plans. Like, if your date asks if it would be okay to see a movie next week, you may answer that it might be a possibility. At the end of the date, if the question pops again, you could be completely honest about your thoughts or be diplomatic once again, leaving the answer for another time.

You keep receiving numerous calls from your date after you met, but you don’t want to repeat the experience

If something like this happens, don’t ignore your phone like nothing is happening. It is not a mature reaction to do something like this; the best way to manage this aspect is to be honest with your date. It may be unpleasant to break the news that you’re not interested in him or her, but if you do it with common sense and diplomacy, making it sound like a sincere and honest opinion that is on the behalf of both of you, things are not going to be as bad as you imagine. So even if texting is the main communication form when using the best dating app in India, it would be best if you could make a phone call or meet the person face to face in order to share your thoughts. After all, you probably would appreciate if someone would do the same for you, so you can stop wasting your time in vain and focus on other important aspects of your life.

Your date is trying to kiss you when you suddenly realize you don’t want his or her lips on yours

A kiss on a date is not something many of us are looking forward. After all, we are trying to know your date better before getting this close. This is even worse if you realize that you’re not interested in your date, knowing that you’ll probably never go out on a date with him or her. But one thing should be remembered no matter what. If you don’t feel like kissing your date, then don’t. Don’t allow guilt, the fear of conflict, or anything else keeping you from doing what it feels right. So, if you see that your date is going for a kiss on the lips, just turn your face around and let your date kiss your cheek. If you get a baffled or upset face from your date, just tell him or her that you are shy. In case you are interested in the person but didn’t want to kiss so soon, you should call your date later on, after the date is over, to check if everything is okay and to tell him or her that you would like to meet again.